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  hackz - 24. Nov 2007 kl. 17:31 * IP
The laws of golf!
The laws of golf
LAW 1: No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet to come. This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a summer and, eventually, a lifetime.
LAW 2: Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by your worst round ever. The probability of the latter increases with the number of people you tell about the former.
LAW 3: Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic. Though this cannot be proven in the lab, it is a known fact that the more expensive the golf ball, the greater its attraction to water.
LAW 4: Golf balls never bounce off of trees back into play. If one does, the tree is breaking a law of the universe and should be cut down.
LAW 5: No matter what causes a golfer to muff a shot, all his playing partners must solemnly chant "You looked up," or invoke the wrath of the universe.
LAW 6: The higher a golfer's handicap, the more qualified he deems himself as an instructor.
LAW 7: Every par-three hole in the world has a secret desire to humiliate golfers. The shorter the hole, the greater its desire.
LAW 8: Topping a 3-iron is the most painful torture known to man.
LAW 9: Palm trees eat golf balls.
LAW 10: Sand is alive. If it isn't, how do you explain the way it works against you?
LAW 11: Golf carts always run out of juice at the farthest point from the clubhouse.
LAW 12: A golfer hitting into your group will always be bigger than anyone in your group. Likewise, a group you accidentally hit into will consist of a football player, a professional wrestler, a convicted murderer and an IRS agent -- or some similar combination.
LAW 13: All 3-woods are demon-possessed.
LAW 14: Golf balls from the same "sleeve" tend to follow one another, particularly out of bounds or into the water (See Law three).
LAW 15: A severe slice is a thing of awesome power and beauty.
LAW 16: "Nice lag" can usually be translated to "lousy putt." Similarly, "tough break" can usually be translated "way to miss an easy one, sucker."
LAW 17: The person you would most hate to lose to will always be the one who beats you.
LAW 18: The last three holes of a round will automatically adjust your score to what it really should be.
LAW 19: Golf should be given up at least twice per month.
LAW 20: All vows taken on a golf course shall be valid only until the sunset.
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  AR (24. Nov 2007 18:55) * IP
Det minner meg litt om han som tok en time hos proen. Etter en stund sa proen oppgitt: "Jeg tror du bør legge bort køllene i 14 dager"
.....(kunstpause).....
"Deretter legger du dem bort for godt!".
  Aagolf (24. Nov 2007 20:18) * IP
Kan vi få avklart om det var din første eller siste pro som sa det?
  Dilter (24. Nov 2007 20:50) * IP
Minnner meg litt om en annen golf-vits:
Golfer: Hva gjør jeg galt?
Pro: Du står for nær ballen - etter at du har slått den.
  KoLD (24. Nov 2007 23:19) * IP
så vi er i det hjørnet nå
Paula Radcliffe – a bit thin but ran for miles
Glenn Miller – didn’t make it over the water
Gerry Adams – hitting a Provisional
OJ Simpson – no idea how, but got away with it
Princess Grace – really should have taken the driver
Michael Jackson – fading dramatically
Anna Kournikova – looked great, but unlikely to get a result
Vinnie Jones – a nasty kick when you least expected it
Bin Laden – driven out and no hope of finding it
Douglas Bader – looked good in the air, but didn’t have the legs
Alastair Campbell – too much spin
Jamie Oliver – you really want to give it a smack, but can’t
Arsene Wenger – everyone saw where it went but you
Kate Winslet – a touch fat, but otherwise perfect
Kate Moss – badly thinned
Arthur Scargill – a great strike, but no result
Adolf Hitler – two shots in the bunker
Saddam Hussein – flit from bunker to bunker
Rock Hudson – looked straight, but wasn’t
Dennis Wise – a nasty 5-footer
Diego Maradonna – a vile 5-footer
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